Fourteen years in ministry… but that really doesn’t tell the whole story. During those fourteen years we have:
- Moved six times.
- Led a growing church in New York.
- Did a one year church planting internship here.
- Failed at a church plant.
- Had six daughters.
- Fought back post failure depression.
- yada yada yada…
It’s been a really busy fourteen years… and yet she still likes me, and I like her too!
Here’s how…
We take a date every week! EVERY week!
If I could make every pastor do one thing it would be date your spouse. Seriously!
OK, I can’t make you date your spouse, but I can give you a couple of tips for doing it well:
- It must be regular. Because we are working to be debt free we have started something new. We get a babysitter and leave the house every other Wednesday. On the Wednesday’s when we don’t get a babysitter we have “home date.” We put the kids in bed super early (6:30) and the evening is ours! We’ve played games, watched movies, sat on the back porch and talked, etc. The bottom line is that every Wednesday we know this… we will be together!
- It doesn’t have to be expensive! When we were doing our church planting internship at Mountain Lake Church we had a date budget of $4 per week… and we did it! Get creative and often you’ll find those dates are the most memorable!
- Be public about it. Our church knows that Wednesday night is date night and I will not be accessible. I tell them it is the most important meeting of my week! The cool thing is that since we are so public about this we’ve seen an increase in dating married couple at our church!
- Don’t miss it. I don’t miss our dates. Even if we’re fussing at each other and going through a tough time in our marriage we still go on date night! (I wrote about one of those times here)
Right now I am working two full time jobs so both of our responsibilities have increased significantly! We have six daughters. Our church is growing and we’re working like crazy people to be debt free (thanks Dave Ramsey). And yet we still date every week!
If I can do this so can you! I know you can!
Listen, there are plenty of areas where I drop the ball, this is not one of those areas and the consequence of this is that I enjoy my wife and she enjoys me!
We giggle, work, play, love, fight, pray, and dream together! Raising kids, keeping house, getting debt free, leading a church, working out, loving friends, etc. we’re loving life and enjoying one another while we do it and I attribute it to one thing… date night!
About the Author
